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RIANSH: Becoming Mrs. Raisinghania – Epilogue

Link to Episode 33:
The comments have been responded to in the previous episode. Happy Reading!


Dear Mummy,

I don’t remember when I truly heard your voice the last time. I think long before you left me . . . us, you’d almost stopped talking. But the last time I heard your voice resonate in my ears was when Ma had given me that letter you’d written to her. That day, I’d realised how much I’d missed your voice all those years, Mummy. And that day, I’d also realised that you were in a much better place, and I’d been too cruel to ever think otherwise.

I don’t know if I ever grew up to be the daughter you envisioned me to be. Growing up, I’d so much hate inside me that it surprises me after all these years. Because now, Mummy, I just try to let go and I think it works so much better for everyone. Holding onto someone who’s already lost is so difficult and I guess, I’m beginning to forget how to do it, too.

I want to laugh because even though I say those words, I feel as if Vansh is speaking through me. You know for so long I’d tried to keep him away from me, but now, distances between us just bother me. It’s ironic, isn’t it? He’s grown onto me like a habit and sometimes, it’s scary, but for how long I can love him, I will love him.

However, in these few years, I’ve also learned that letting go of someone doesn’t always have to relate to stop loving. You know, Mummy, Vansh knew that sandalwood scent on me through his subconscious, but I’ve let go of it now. He’s slowly getting used to this new peony scent I’ve grown fond of, but I think the sandalwood scent was just my way of holding onto you.

Vansh still complains of it, but he knows how important it was for me. I guess, I’m too lucky to have a companion like Vansh, Mummy. I know I don’t say husband because he’s so much more than that to me that the term husband just feels like an understatement. You know he takes me to our park every often and sits there beside me while I think of you. He’d tell me that it lets him think, but he has a bad of staring, Mummy.

And being the hopeless romantic he is, he tells me that he could stare at me for longer. But there’s just a sense of comfort even in his stare, Mummy. He looks at me like there’s nothing more he’s ever wanted in life, and it surprises me. Because how can I fulfill someone’s life so extravagantly, and then it reminds me of you and Ma.

You remember how you used to tell me that I filled all the empty spaces in your life? My laugh still resonates in my memory, but I cannot forget the smile that stretched your lips. It was so hopeful, so full of love and so beautiful. I don’t think I ever truly told you how much I admired you, Mummy, because it never felt important. However, when I saw Ma the other day, gasping for breath, I realised the value of expressions and emotions.

For the longest of times, I’ve remained ungrateful to life, but I’m slowly beginning to appreciate what I have. At the back of this diary, you’d find me writing about my gratitude each day and it really keeps me happy, Mummy. I’m still falling into the habit and there are low days too, but I’m trying. With each page, you’d always find two names constant, Mummy, because that’s how important both of those names are to me.

Vansh and Ma. I know I don’t have to tell you about Ma, but you’d gotten a gem of a son-in-law. You know, when Ragini Di had her first daughter, I kept awake at nights thinking of the happiness on Vansh’s face. When he’d first held her in his hands, I hadn’t been able to ignore the happiness on his face and the twinkle in his eyes.

There were so many times I’d wanted to accuse myself of my choices – thinking I’d forced my decisions on him – but on each of those nights, he’d stayed with me. He held me securely on each of those nights and stopped me from breaking into fragments despite his sleep. And it makes me laugh because he would never have a clue of all those moments. Those moments where his silence had spoken to my soul and helped me unwind.

He keeps me afloat in the toughest of days, Mummy, and I don’t think anything else can ever be more crucial. And it is perhaps because of all these things, that I still use that sandalwood scent at times just to see that smile on his face.

And that sandalwood scent helps me feel your presence. It reminds me of that beautiful smile of yours and the way your kohl-lined eyes gleamed at me. It keeps me happy and fulfilled, Mummy.

With love,

Aapki Riddhima


And after a whole of about 10 months, that’d be it. Thank you for all the support and kindness, it’s always meant so much more than I’ve ever been able to express. But I always appreciated you all, and it is perhaps why I wrote 34 parts despite all that kept happening simultaneously.

Until next time, ta-da and stay safe everyone!

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