Link for Episode-31: https://www.tellyupdate.co.in/twinj-bakhuda-tumhi-ho-episode31/
Bakhuda Tumhi Ho-
Twinkle was sitting on the bench at the Juhu Beach, the place which always did calm her nerves. ‘What sin had I committed to face all this Lord? I’m never the one to complaint but now the energy is draining from me. I can’t bear this never-ending pain anymore.’ She conversed with Lord looking in void. Even the tears were dried leaving their marks on her face. She was drowning in the pool of her thoughts when a very familiar voice called her out.
She abruptly got up in shock. She didn’t expected ‘him’ there. Not knowing what to do, she gulped before turning towards that manly voice. Sure enough, it was her husband, Kunj. Seeing him in front of her made her vulnerable even more. New fresh tears started flowing through her eyes.
Kunj walked towards her unable to utter a word. He gently held her both hands and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. “Stop running away from me.” He said in a mere whisper.
His soothing touch on her hand was no less than a bliss for her. “I’m not running away. I just want to go far from you.” She spoke. Her lips wobbling as she was suppressing her cry.
“Please! This time no lies. I’m tired of them.” He pleaded looking at her face intently.
She nodded. “Yes. I’m also tired of lying. Tired of putting a mask. Tired of to put an act. Tired of… Showing as if I don’t love you when in reality I love you more than anything in this world.”
“If you loved me so much than why didn’t you tell me about your pain? Why did you bear all this alone? Why didn’t you trust me?” He asked softly.
“Because my pain would only hurt you. You had returned to your life with so much difficulty, I don’t want to snatch that life again from you.”
“My life resides in you. By taking yourself away from me knowingly or unknowingly you’d have snatched my life from me and this time no one could’ve healed me.”
“So what should’ve I done?” She questioned helplessly hovering her eyes on his face.
He sighed. “You should’ve trusted me for once. You’ve all rights to tell me when you’re in pain, when you’re unhappy, when you need me! Don’t hide your miseries within you. You’ve healed me with your love now give me a chance to heal you. I promise… I’ll fight with everything for your LIFE!”
“Kunj! No one can fight with death.”
“I’ll fight!” He stated firmly. “I want to live my life with you Twinkle. I’m nothing without you.” He added wiping her tears.
Without wasting a second, Twinkle hugged him tightly crying her out. Letting her pain out in her husband’s arms. “I too want to live Kunj! I too want to experience the bliss of life with you. I also want to cherish the happiness of a motherhood. I want YOU… ME… US!”
He embraced her tightly in his arms. “I promise you Twinkle, we’ll experience all these happiness together!” He said kissing her head before repeating. “I PROMISE!”
“But how?” She asked facing him without breaking the hold. “I’ve no chance of surv…”
“Shhh!” He gently shushed her before adding. “Just believe me… I don’t want you to lose your hope.”
“And I don’t want to create false hopes because at the end of the day it’ll just break us more.”
“Twinkle! You only taught me to never lose hope than how can you forget your own teachings?”
She sighed helplessly very well aware of the fact that where this discussion was heading. “You want me to… Please don’t Kunj!” She spoke hastily.
“Twinkle! I’ve decided already we’re fighting this together and not giving up.” He said holding her hands.
“Kunj! Why don’t you understand it’s not that simple.” She said with uncertainty.
“Maybe, but we WILL fight Twinkle. Not giving up without that! And not this time Twinkle! Now, whatsoever comes my way, I’m not going to lose you! Maybe all these times, I lost because I refused to fight but not now! All these times YOU have healed me, loved me, now give me a chance… To heal you, to support you, to love you. Please! I’ll call the best cancer specialist, arrange the best machines and medications and won’t let anything happen to you!”
“I don’t know.” She took a deep calming breath. “Can we talk about this at home?”
He smiled with glistening eyes. “Ya! Sure. Wese bhe everyone is waiting for you.” He said embracing her through sideways earning a warm smile from Twinkle.
Twinkle along with Kunj reached the hallway where Disha, Arohi, Rishab and Yuvraj were already waiting for them. Seeing Twinkle and Kunj, Disha rushed to them.
“When are you guys going to grow up? Stop running away from each other!” Disha scolded sternly. “Because of you both I’ll seriously land in hospital because of high blood pressure or minor heart attack.”
“Disha! Scold them as much as you want but don’t talk nonsense.” Yuvraj stepped forward exasperated.
“Ya! You too stop me. Why don’t you give them some piece of mind!” Disha exclaimed furiously.
Kunj and Twinkle exchanged worried glances before looking at Yuvraj for rescue but he shrugged signing them to ‘deal by yourself’.
Sighing both, husband and wife mumbled a ‘sorry‘ simultaneously.
“Kunj and Twinkle you both shouldn’t have left just like that. You know how much worried we all were!” Now it was Rishab’s turn to scold them. “I know time is taking our exam but that doesn’t mean we’d ran off the way you both did.” He added shaking his head in disappointment.
“We said sorry now what else you all want?” Kunj asked irritatedly.
“Ya! Just point out his mistake and he’ll lash on us in return. This behavior of yours is just intolerable right now Kunj!” Disha said eyeing him angrily.
Twinkle slightly slapped Kunj’s arm before speaking, “We’re really sorry for making you guys so much tensed. It’s just… We both needed some time.” Twinkle explained softly.
Yuvraj held Disha’s hand gently signing her to forgive them but Disha was Disha! How can she forgave them without any condition. “Fine! We’ll forgive you IF you both promise that from on you both will stop running away from each other because it isn’t a marathon… It’s LIFE! And sort out your matters mutually like a mature couple.” She said firmly folding her arms across her chest.
“We promise.” The couple said together earning a smile from Disha.
“Good! Now come and sit. We’ve a lot to talk.”
Both nodded and walked inside. Once everyone settled down, Arohi asked nervously, “Bhabhi! What have you decided… Uh, about treatment?”
Twinkle looked at Kunj with unsureness on which he gently squeezed her hand while answering on her behalf. “We’ve decided that we’ll fight this together! Whatever be the circumstances we aren’t going to give up.”
“Well said Kunj. We all are with you and Twinkle. Nothing is going to be wrong!” Yuvraj said patting Kunj’s back.
“Yes bhabhi!” Arohi said placing her hand on Twinkle’s shoulder sensing her worry. “Our life is determined by the choices we make. So… Please choose LIFE today. Bhai’s determination is useless without your will.”
Twinkle took in all the possibilities and realized something… When all else is lost, the future still remains. Hope was all she had now and she wouldn’t kill that too! This was her life’s biggest decision and she’d make it count. For a second, she saw herself from the filter of Kunj’s eyes… His eyes held love, respect, concern, worry and a strong determination of a beautiful tommorow. She inhaled a deep breath and nodded her head positively with a small smile.
“I knew it!” Kunj beamed embracing her tightly. “Now even if Lord wants to take you away, he’ll have to go through me!” He added and Twinkle’s every pain, insecurity and fear seemed useless. She tightly wound her arms around his waist placing her head on his chest not wanting to let him go.
Disha also smiled contently resting her head on Yuvraj’s shoulder.
“So done? Tomorrow you and Kunj are going to meet the doctor.” Rishab said drawing everyone’s attention.
“Ya! It’s done.” Kunj replied before pausing to raise Twinkle’s chin. “We’ll get your treatment done from the best doctor and…”
“Dr. Ragini IS the best doctor Kunj. Her medication had been really effective and…”
“Twinkle!” He said a little more lovingly than usual. “I agree but still I’d want some other doctors involved for a second opinion or if Lord forbid anything goes wrong, then it shouldn’t affect your treatment. Ok?”
She nodded smilingly. “As you wish!”
These weren’t just the words left from Twinkle’s mouth but it was a phrase which hold strong belief that nothing would go wrong now. Her Kunj was with her and that was all what she wanted!
“Twinkle?” Kunj called out while caressing her hairs.
“I understand why you didn’t tell me about all this but… Why not anyone else? Like… Yuvi, Disha or dad? You could’ve shared it with them?”
Twinkle raised her head abit from his chest to look at him. “Because Kunj, when people hear the word ‘cancer’, they act like… It’s the last day of that person on the earth. All the looks and their words…! I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy. I’m not that weak!” She replied while fiddling her fingers with the collar of his t-shirt.
“I’ve never seen someone as strong as you are Twinkle but sometime it’s better to share our pain with someone rather than hiding because after all we’re a human we need someone to remain by our side.” He gently pulled her closer before adding worriedly. “What if anything would’ve happened to you?”
She smiled wrapping her arm around his waist. “That time the only thing on my mind was to keep you away from all my health mess Kunj because…”
He shushed her by keeping a finger on her lips. “I don’t want to listen anything Twinkle. Just promise me you won’t EVER hide anything from me again and by ANYTHING I mean ANYTHING!” She nodded without removing her gaze from his face. Kunj continued, “You know Twinkle… I’m angry on myself right now that in spite of living with you I acted like a fool! I couldn’t feel your pain… I couldn’t see your pain like I was a blind…”
“Kunj please! Don’t blame yourself for anything. It’s not your fault after all… I was quite good in acting nobody caught me.” She said wiggling her brows trying to lift his mood.
Kunj narrowed his eyes disappointedly. “It isn’t funny Twinkle.”
“I know.” She spoke sheepishly. “But please let’s just not talk about it.”
He sighed. “Hmmm… Let’s sleep! We’ve a lot to do tomorrow.”
“Kunj… I promise what you asked me to… Now would you promise me something?”
He looked at her suspiciously very well aware of her words. “Depending on what you’re going to say.”
“Kunj! Tomorrow even if we don’t succeed, even if doctor says ‘no’…”
“Let me complete Kunj!” She said scoldingly. “Promise me that you won’t ever let this pain punish your present and paralyze your future. You’ll move on… And be happy.”
“That’s not happening. We LIVE together and DIE together!” He answered strongly yet calmly.
She sighed defeating. There’s no way she would ever win any argument with him.
“Good night.” Kunj said before dropping a kiss on her head.
“Hmmm.” She smiled weakly and cuddled more into him.
Twinkle opened her eyes slowly to find Kunj sitting beside her all dressed up. She was too happy to see everything so perfect. She smiled stretching herself. “Good morning.”
“Good morning love. Surprise! Breakfast in bed.” He said placing the tray of food between them. “Now eat fast and get ready. We’ve to leave to meet the doctor. I’ve taken the appointment from Dr. Ragini. We’ve to reach in an hour.”
Twinkle nodded with satisfaction and held his hands. “Kunj, thanks! Yesterday, I thought I had lost everything! But… Now we’ll fight Kunj. I still can’t believe this is happening.” She said emotionally placing the tray a-side and leaning on his chest.
He smilingly caressed her cheeks. “Because Lord works in mysterious ways. When we think everything is falling apart, maybe it’s ACTUALLY falling in place. Right?”
She nodded gleefully.
“Now let’s eat and then you’ve to get ready.”
They together had the breakfast while Twinkle was really nervous about the treatment thing. YuviSha, Arohi and Rishab had arrived to see them off.
“Just relax! Everything will be fine.” Disha said with a smile as they were leaving.
“Come! Have a seat.” Dr. Ragini said as soon as Twinj entered her cabin.
Kunj guided Twinkle and both took their seats. “Glad that you agreed.” Doctor said with a professional smile while adjusting her black rimmed glasses.
“So Twinkle, I’ve read your reports and taking in account your immunity, young age, it’s intensity, and it’s spread in your body, we can use any of the three treatments available.”
Kunj felt relieved at the words which left from doctor’s mouth. He felt such peace like they were talking about saving HIS life and not HERS!
“The cancer has reached the second stage, so bisphosphonates, antibiotics and surgery are totally out. We can go for chemotherapy, radiation therapy or stem cell transplant. The choice is yours.”
Had it been some other patient, the doctor would’ve dictated the best treatment according to the patient’s condition. But she knew Twinkle was a doctor herself and could choose the best for herself.
Twinkle thought for a minute on which Kunj held her hand assuring her for his support. She inhaled a sharp breath before speaking, “Dr, I’ve treated patients with cancer before and I don’t think chemo would do any good. Also the constant nausea, vomiting and hair loss, anemia etcetera. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that. So I don’t want chemo and… Radiation therapy, it may cure my myeloma but the skin changes… It’ll be completely peeling off and…”
She continued talking but Kunj was annoyed. She was rejecting the TREATMENTS like the way we reject things in the mall! Because of small defects, as she wanted a complete package.
“Ok then. I’ve decided.” Twinkle said on which Kunj looked at her in desperation. “I’ll go with… Stem cell transplant.”
The doctor pursed her lips as if she wasn’t agreeing with her decision. “Twinkle, it’d have been a really wise decision IF we weren’t short of time. Your every minute is precious. And we don’t even know how much time, it’ll require to search a donor whose stem cells are completely or at least 90% matched with your cell type.”
“Dr, I trust Lord. He’ll do the best for me and trust me, for me there can be no better treatment than stem cell transplant. I’ve seen it. It’s the best at fighting myeloma.”
Kunj was puzzled. He wanted to go with doctor but his mind screamed, ‘Twinkle knows better!’
“Ok then. As you wish. Twinkle we’ll try to find the donor as soon as possible. Till then here are some medicines which I’ve prescribed, you’ve to take them regularly since your proper treatment isn’t started yet.”
“Thank you Dr. We’ll try our best too.” Twinkle smiled taking the prescription and they both left the cabin.
As they were walking past the corridor, Kunj stopped abruptly. “What happened?” Twinkle asked.
“I think I forgot my phone in doctor’s cabin. You just go to the car, I’ll be there in minutes.” He said and swiftly walked back to the doctor’s cabin.
Twinkle found him a little wierd but she shrugged it off and walked to the car. 10 minutes passed. She thought to go and check on him when she saw him approaching. “Kunj you took so much time.”
He just nodded but didn’t respond. His face expression was telling how tensed he was! He silently started driving.
“Kunj! What happened? Are you OK?” She asked concerned. He was alright awhile ago!
“What if we don’t find a donor Twinkle?” He asked bluntly while maintaining his eyes on the road.
‘So this is the source of his anxiety!’
Twinkle leaned on his shoulder. “Kunj, why are you stressing so much? Everything will be fine. I’ll be fine. And trust me. I understand better. I’ve seen patients struggling to bring their blood levels, sugar levels etcetera on track after chemotherapy. Many stuck with mouth sores, anemia, infections for a life time. Please, if this can be cured, I want to cure it completely so that I don’t have to look back or see BOTH of us enduring this pain again.”
Hearing those words, his stiffened body relaxed abit but tension wasn’t leaving his features. “I try Twinkle. I try to trust you. To trust whatever is happening but sometimes the thought of any harm coming to you, clouds my senses and I feel so helpless.” He said trying to smile. “But you don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll find donor from anywhere.”
“I know as long as you and my family is with me, I’ve nothing to worry about.” She said confidently earning a glint of happiness from Kunj.
“Dad may I come in?” Kunj asked knocking the door of Manohar’s room.
“Yes Kunj. Since when did you need the permission to enter my room?” Manohar said softly removing the glasses off his eyes.
Kunj gave a weak smile to his father and sat beside him on the couch silently. Manohar could understand his situation very well. “I know this is very hard time for you Kunj but trust Lord he won’t let any harm come near Twinkle.”
“Why Twinkle?” He choked swallowing his unshed tears. “She never hurt anyone, always did things which would benefit others, always fought for other’s happiness, always spread love and care then why SHE, dad?”
“Kunj! No one can answer your WHYs but I can assure you for one thing Lord test the one whom He loves most.”
“She had given enough tests dad. She lost her parents in such young age, her brother was about to sale her just for money, she spent her life in an orphanage, struggled for her career and now when FINALLY she was settled in her life, when FINALLY we were welcoming the happiness then all this happened! Didn’t we have given enough of the tests dad?”
Manohar sighed. “I know son this is beyond difficult for you but you’ve to stay strong. You can’t lose hope else we’ll lost Twinkle.”
“Dad! I’m trying to be strong, to smile in front of Twinkle when inside I’m dying with every passing second. Just because I show the world that I’m emotionless, doesn’t mean nothing affects me. Dad it hurts me to even think that Twinkle is suffering from… Cancer! I love her dad! I can’t see her like this.” He said weakly letting the tears to fall.
Manohar too was broken seeing such vulnerable sight of Kunj at one side and weak condition of his daughter-in-law at other side but he couldn’t show his emotions at the time to break his son even more.
“Kunj! Nothing is more powerful than love. Trust me your love will bring Twinkle back to life but YOU’VE TO STAY STRONG! Understand.”
He nodded wiping his tears. “Thanks dad. I was feeling so weak and helpless that’s why thought to talk with you.”
“No need of it son. You can talk to me whenever you want to.” He smiled patting his son’s back. “How’s Twinkle?”
“Fine! Sleeping at the time.”
“Take care of her and yourself Kunj!”
“Yes dad! You also may sleep now. Good night.” Kunj said with a small smile.
Thank you very much for reading.
Hey fellas! Really sorry for getting late actually I was reading a book and was so lost in it that didn’t feel to write these days. That book depict the things which is happening in Syria at the moment and I was so into it that I even cried and by cried I ACTUALLY MEANT CRYING WITH TEARS! On which my mom scolded me for reading such stuffs because I’m kind of emotional and sensitive and she literally scolded me for going through that work when I can’t handle it. Seriously I was kind of depressed and was like why did I read it… Huh! Please please please pray for Syrians, they’re in so much pain. Their lives are destroyed. They’re leading more than miserable life. Girls and kids are treating like trash in that and in many other places. Please remember them in your prayers. We all will pray together and I’m sure Lord will listen to our prayers some day.
Coming to episode, it was lovely right! I literally loved Twinj’s moments a lot. Many of you missed Rishab, Arohi and Manohar so I showed all of them in today’s one. Hopefully you all liked it if yes then what are you waiting for? Press the ‘like’ and kindly share your views. Just 2 episodes are left. Feeling kind of sad but it has to end some day:|
Next episode will be posted by Thursday or Friday In’shaAllah.
Love you all<3