“ Hey Swara…..How are you? Saw you after such a long time..” My friend Rina asked me smiling.
I passed her a smile and nodded.
“ Yaa , was busy in my work…..” I replied back.
“ I know you had to be busy, cover page of business Magazine….” She told me in a teasing tone.
“ Its nothing , Still much more to gain…Ok , I’ll come in a second” I left her to go and meet my friend ‘Ragini’.
“ Ragini…..Kaise he….Shadi and all haan….” I said as I walked towards her hugging her in an instant.
She hugged me more tightly.
“ Swara , where were you yaar…its been 5 years , you know how much I missed you , we used to be best friends …..still you didn’t tell me, just ran away….” I felt tears on the back of my dress.
I broke the hug , “ Arrey Yaar , Why are you crying?” I held her face caressing it.
“ What else should I do? Today Papa told me that he called you and you agreed to come , remember the hundreds of calls I made to you in these years…..??” Ragini angrily looked towards me.
“ Ragini , today is your engagement , please don’t spoil your mood because of me , I have a lot many reasons to do a lot many things , I will tell you everything later , promise but please smile for the time…..” I replied back concerned for her.
She turned her face away , angrily , I came in front of her , “ Smile…please….” I said as she again turned to other side , I saw a small smile climb up her lips, “ Promise me you won’t ever leave me again..” She asked raising her hand.
“ Ok…” I said giving my hand in hers.
“ Ok, Now let me take you to meet Laksh and his friends , they are all awesome…” Ragini said dragging me by my arms with her.
“ Ragini…….calmly….” I smiled as she was almost running towards Laksh.
We soon reached towards her Laksh who was surrounded by some young boys.
“ Get aside Yaar Mohit….Rajat…….Give me atleast space to walk yaar……now you came in the middle Sanskar…..” I heard Ragini as she was scolding Laksh’s friends , she is cute , I just walked behind her.
Wait a Second , a name just hit my ear , Did Ragini just say SANSKAR…..I raised my eyelashes to look in front , “ Swara , This is Laksh…….My Laksh…” Ragni said as a boy was standing in front of my eyes.
I kept looking at the boy while he raised his hand to shake hands with me , I felt tear on my cheek….No He wasn’t Sanskar , Happily he wasn’t Sanskar because if he would have been , I would have killed him.
I shaked hands with him , “ Swara….Ragini’s best friend….”
“ Laksh , by the way tears in your eyes pretty Lady?” He asked me smiling.
I nodded in a ‘no’ , “ Not at all , something must have went….Ragini , I’ll just come…..” I said as I turned to go.
“ Ok….” I heard Ragini say from behind as I walked forward.
“ Sanskar , can you please bring all these things , Papa has asked….” I turned my face in a second as I was shivering out of fear, they were Ragini’s words.
I wasn’t wrong , there he was standing in front of me taking something from Ragini’s hand smiling , it was indeed Sanskar.
Ragini came with her friend , Swara I guess while we all were having a chat , as she is Ragini just got us all side and started talking with Laksh and introducing her friend to him , the girl was Pretty beautiful , she was dressed in a shimmering Lehenga along with a pair of earring and a bangles , no other Jewel though.
The bangles were machine perfect, circles more round than the sun above, and shining like rippled water in the brilliant summer light , her earring matched her shimmering Lehenga complimenting her beauty further.
Wait a second , she went , alright leave her Ragini called me for some work and as I was ready to do her work , I felt two sharp eyes glare at me , I turned my gaze towards the way from where I felt the glare , it was the same girl , I mean Swara , Her eyes were giving a glare that was freezing my bones, like being nude in the middle of a hailstorm, where every chunk of ice was a frosted dagger cutting into my skin. Why the hell was she giving me that deadly glare???
However hard I try to forget that incident I can’t , I tagged it an incident , it wasn’t an incident , It was my life , he destroyed my life and is living happily destroying my life , Why is it so that only I have to face everything , I ignored him a lot in these 5 years but not any more , I won’t ignore him more , he doesn’t deserve my ignorance , he deserves my hatred , I don’t deserve to be ignored , He can hate me but I won’t let him to ignore me the way he did 5 years ago , If I am sad then he can’t be happy.
He was looking at me now , I turned my face away .
I started walking forward, “ Excuse me…..” I heard a voice from back as I was walking forward , I turned and as I did someone held my waist.
A shiver passed down my body as he touched my bare waist , I threw his hand away not caring that he fell down due to it.
“ What the Hell !!” I shouted at him , he got up.
“ Excuse me , please don’t misunderstand me , I was about to fall so just……” Mr. Sanskar Maheshwari was up to his explanation , I wish he had ever thought it necessary to explain me that why he left me.
“ Cut the crap , why you called me.???” I looked at him with my boiling eyes.
“ I am Sanskar…..Laksh’s friend…..I just wanted to talk…..” He started.
“ I don’t wanna talk…..” I walked away turning to the other side.
I wanted to talk to her and she just walked away saying , ‘I don’t wanna talk…..’??”
“ Sanskar , what are you doing there? Go na…” I heard Ragini screaming at me.
“ Ok , I am going….” I replied back as I went towards market leaving the hall.
I looked towards him as he left through the main door , he doesn’t care about anybody else , only about himself , only and only about himself.
Sanskar ‘s POV:
Why she behaved like that? Like I was there to kill her…she acted so weirdly , she has so much of attitude , Ragini is such a sweet girl , how she did friendship with that egoistic girl…I don’t know why only I meet with these kind of people…………………..or should I say that why people behave like this only with me?
‘You know what Sanskar , do whatever you want to do but yes , before that just forget that you have a father…’
No , No , why I am remembering those words , those times , they are just a bad dream , just a bad dream…I walked forward as I collected the things I was send in to purchase.
After 2 days:
“ Ragini , Laksh’s friends are nice people na….” I asked sitting next to Ragini as Mehendi was being put on her hand.
“ Yaa Swara , you know what , in few days they became my friends too , they all are just awesome , super cool..” Ragini bloomed like a flower as she told me about them carefully looking at her Mehendi.
“ What about Sanskar? Hows he??” I asked in the middle.
“ Why you need to know about him……..??? Hey if there is something tell me……” she teased me finally pulling up her eyes from her Mehendi and looking at me.
I passed her a glare.
“ Ok , I am sorry , he’s Laksh’s best friend….Just like you are mine , only difference is that they met 5 years and we got separated 5 years ago……” I was absorbing what Ragini was saying.
“ Ma’am, Your Mehendi is done…..” The Mehendi Lady interrupted us.
“ So put it on her hand , see she is my best friend , I need her design to be the best….” Ragini told the Mehendi Lady as I looked towards her in shock.
“ I won’t apply Mehendi……….please Ragini….No , please no…..” I tried to resist as the frown on Ragini’s face got larger with my lines , she glared at me this time.
I gave in.
“ See , I am not saying anything but please just apply a bit , don’t let her know….” I whispered in the Mehendi Lady’s ear.
“ I need it to be best….” Ragini was keenly observing her while she looked at me making a puppy face.
“ See , don’t forget to write ‘S’ for Swara…..” Ragini smilingly said as I was completely lost in looking at my hands being spoiled.
Swara was looking at her hands completely lost in a deep thinking as Ragini too was looking at the design in Swara’s hand and at Swara smiling. As Swara was lost, the Mehendi was completed .
“ Ma’am , it is completed…” The lady said to Swara as she came out of her lost thoughts by the startling sound.
She looked towards her hand , her eyes fixed at a single point.
I kept looking at the design as the lady told me that the design was completed , I kept staring at it for 10 minutes , then I raised myself.
“ Ragini……..Ragini…….” I shouted as I got up. Ragini who had gone inside came running as she heard me shout.
That was the breaking point of my patience. At that moment, I was blinded by a five-course serving of rage that tasted bitter, and would for sure lead to some bitter memories in store for us but I couldn’t control myself , I couldn’t.
“ Swara , what happened???” Ragini asked as she looked at me worried.
“ What the hell?? How dare you??” I showed my hand to her.
“ Wow , Swara , it is looking so beautiful….” Ragini said getting hold of my hand.
I threw her hand away , “ You know what Ragini……..You are impossible….” I screamed at her as I ran up to my room.
I closed the door from inside and looked at the ‘S’ written on my hand , “ Wow Swara , S is looking so pretty on your hand , today it is only on your hand , soon it will be in your heart” The words haunted me as I kept looking at my hand , the first letter of his name inscribed on my hand. I hate the fact that my name starts with the same letter as his , I hate it….
I looked towards my purse which was kept on the bed , I went towards it and picked it up , opening the zip I looked at it kept inside , tear drops were falling from my eyelids , I don’t know why I cry because of him.
For the first time in my life Swara has talked like this to me , I don’t know why she spoke the way she did but I just know that it really hurt me , it really did , I kept looking at the closed door of Swara’s room with tears in my eyes as the door opened back in a thud , Swara came out , her eyes were swelled up , she walked towards me soullessly and then stood in front of me , I lowered my eyes and as I did I saw some strange traces on the floor , they were of blood.
“ I am sorry Ragini…I know I over reacted..soo….” I held Swara’s hand.
“ Swara , are you mad , how these cuts…..so much blood , Swara……Rashi dii please bring first aid….fast…..” Her hand was bleeding badly with almost infinite many cuts on her hand.
“ Ragini…it happened by mistake…..I held the knife through wrong side thats why…..don’t worry….” She told me,I looked at her and then back at her cut , she doesn’t even know how to lie.
Rashi dii brought the first aid and I bandaged her hand , she’s a complete mad , a duffer , “ Swara…..what….why???” I asked as I looked at her wounds caressing them.
Ragini had tears in her eyes as she bandaged my hand , “ Ragini , I am sorry , it was by mistake…” I was saying when I heard a voice.
“ Ragini…what Happened , why are you shouting??” The voice led its way from the entrance.
I looked up to look at the one speaking , Again , Mr. Maheshwari.
Ragini looked towards me and then walked towards Sanskar , “ Sanskar , Good you came , You know na I am not allowed to leave the home now , so can you please take swara to hospital…please….”
“ But why??” He asked confused.
“ Ask her only , she has wounded her whole hand , please…” Ragini said as he looked towards me , I became sterner as he looked at me.
“ I’ll take Ragini , don’t panic , you have bandaged it na…I’ll see rest….” He replied turning his gaze back to Ragini.
“ Ragini , I am fine and yaa , I’ll call Dr. Batra , My personal doctor to ask about the cuts , he’ll give me ointment and all , you don’t need to disturb OTHER PEOPLE…..” I said between them.
“ Swara , please…don’t show me your attitude….” Ragini replied as tear drops her felling down her eyelids.
“ Ragini , what I said , I really mean it , please don’t ask me again…..” I walked up to my room.
I was in Laksh’s House (Its almost like next to Ragini’s house)when I heard Ragini shouting , I came running and as I walked in Ragini came running to me.
She had tears and as she told me about her friend , I looked up at her , I don’t know why but it seemed like my heart tore in a million pieces as I saw her bandaged hand, I looked towards her face , anger still on her face , as If I have committed some crime which I myself don’t know , I changed my thoughts for a while and consoled Ragini , Her friend refused to come to hospital with me ….am I some criminal or more than that that I am getting such a treatment? She behaved as if I wasn’t gonna take her to hospital but to kill her , there’s a limit to everything ……all my life people have behaved this way with me but why I feel that when she is behaving the same way?
As Sanskar walked back to Laksh’s home , slight tears were easily visible in his eyes, Swara was sitting on her bed as she was looking at her hand and the bandages.
“ Zindagi mein sab kuch bardash hai par tumahara kuch bhi mere Kareeb…Nahi…” She said as tear drops fell down her eyes.
Two more days passed in all the Sangeet functions and wedding preparations , Swara was the same with Sanskar , though nobody noticed before , Now their friends have started noticing the change in Swara’s attitude as soon as she witnesses Sanskar and Sanskar’s continuous tries to talk to her. It was Ragini and Laksh’s haldi taking place on the terrace of Ragini’s house.
I entered the terrace with the bowl of Haldi , She too was standing there looking towards Ragini wearing a yellow Lehenga , it was a simple yet elegant Lehenga and she was looking amazing in it, I walked up to both the sides to give haldi and then stood there like a sweet innocent child staring at…………HER…Yes , I was staring at her , why I was staring at her? What? Is this what people call Love?
Ragini called me towards herself and I walked to her , she smiled , I looked at her confused when she suddenly applied a bit of haldi on my nose………..Ragini…..You….. I took up a chunk of haldi and looked at her.
“ Swara…….Swara…No , I am sorry…please no….no……” Ragini got up and started running in her side of the terrace and I started running behind her , “ I won’t leave you haan……don’t worry….” I shouted as I ran behind her.
“ Sanskar , Sanskar , save me…..” Ragini hid herself behind him. I looked at her as she hid herself behind him. “ Ragini , come out…” I ordered her but she didn’t care.
“Ragini…..come out….I said….” I said again while this time she sticked her tongue out to me smiling.
I went towards them angrily and as I was about to get hold of her hand from his back , Sanskar got hold of my hand , I felt a current pass down my body as he did that , he held my both hands smiling while letting Ragini escape.
“ Leave me…..” I glared at him , as he saw that Ragini has reached a bit far , he left my hand.
This was the last straw , I couldn’t control myself more , I connected my hand with his cheek and the terrace went silent. A few minutes passed by and everyone just stood there in silence looking at me as if I did something wrong… They started to whisper in each others ears… Oh damn, I was center of attention now. Sanskar looked at me shocked at my reaction.
“ Never dare to touch me again….” I walked past him almost making him trip going out from the terrace , as I was walking on the stairs I heard some footsteps follow me , I kept walking.
“ Ragini..please……leave me alone…..” I spoke without turning. As I reached the end of the stairs , the footsteps were still ringing the empty way and so I turned about to look.
Ragini came running to me as she and Swara were upto to some funny , I too joined in and held her hand to stop her as she was about to pull Ragini , Ragini giggled as she ran away , I looked at Swara , her eyes were full of anger but I don’t know why this anger also seemed too cute to me at that very moment. She was telling me continuously to leave her and I did the same once Ragini was at a safe distance from her but what happened after that shocked me like hell. Swara slapped me on my cheeks , everyone was looking at us and she just left the scenario . I walked behind her and grasped her hand as she turned.
Sanskar grasped her hand and took her somewhere closing her mouth.
As soon as they reached a silent corner , Sanskar left her mouth.
“ What do you think of yourself??” Swara asked angrily looking at him.
“ What do you think of me?” Sanskar asked glaring at her with anger rising in his body.
His face clearly said how hurt he was , “ Do you think I am here to kill you or am I am serial killer? Or a poisonous snake that everytime even if I touch you by mistake you…you………” Sanskar stopped as now tears forming in his eyes.
“ What have I done to you? I met you first time 4 days ago and from then you are behaving as if I have killed you or something? Why? Am I that bad?” Sanskar kept looking towards Swara as he bombarded her with questions , Swara’s eyes as well were filled with tears now.
“ You didn’t do anything Mr. Maheshwari , never ever anything , you are an ideal man , His parents favourite , the best man in the whole jaipur , Every girl dies for you, one more girl did , she thought she’ll get her world with you , she’ll get her whole life with you ,she even got hints of it , started living her in dreams , in her glass dreams never to know that he dreams would be broken on the last moment….” Swara’s voice became different as he tears choked her throat, Sanskar kept looking at her confused.
“ What are you saying? I……….” Sanskar was saying when he was cut.
“ I know you don’t even remember what happened , afterall it was small incident of your life…….just a game that you won……..just a truth that you spoke…………the only difference came that the time was late……….” Sanskar kept staring at her.
“ Swara………you don’t even remember the name with whom your name was connected in all the wedding cards send to your relatives…………” Sanskar’s eyes widened.
Memories started flashing in his mind as he heard her words , “ Sanskar hows it? You both will make as amazing pair….” His mothers words while she was showing him a card ran in his mind.
“ SWARA……….” He spoke up shocked looking at her.
“ Yes Swara , the same girl whom she left on the last vow of marriage……remember Mr. Maheshwari…….You know I wanted to fulfil my dreams , I wanted to become a big Buisnesswomen , I wanted to be the best but my parents told me that they got the wedding proposal from Maheshwari’s for my wedding , I refused but they showed me your photo , I fell in love….I did , I agreed for the marriage , I was so happy , you became something like my prince charming , I didn’t wanted you to fulfilll any of those dream wedding for me because your presence only seemed to me like the biggest dream of my life , the biggest blessing to me , I forgot my dreams , you became my priority and then my life , My reason to survive but at the last moment , you broke out marriage after the 6th vow Mr. Maheshwari…….what were you thinking then? A joke or a game you were playing with me? You ran away just like a timid man you ran away leaving me alone……I never wanted anything from you……just your support and you gave me everything………just not your support…….” Swara was crying badly as she was saying the words , she broke down as she sat on floor.
Sanskar heard her as flashes came into his mind , he had never seen his bride , he never wanted t marry , he wanted to become a singer , a big singer but his father forced him to marry , he couldn’t refuse him , he couldn’t so he agreed , he wasn’t interested , he just continued to the rituals pre wedding and the wedding one’s but his thought still clustered his mind , his mind was in a dilemma , should he do that or should he not and it agreed Negatively at the last moment, He was just 19 then , he didn’t knew what was right? What was wrong? He just ran away as they were heading for last vow , he Just ran away.
“ Swara , Swara please , I never did it purposely , My own life became a game or a joke…..I was forced for that marriage , which 19 years old want to marry , I wanted to fulfil my dreams , I just wanted to do that , in the process I completely forgot about you , about your heart , how you just be feeling , I got my punishment Swara , I have everything today………I am popular singer ,I have some amazing friends but I don’t have my family , my father hates me for spoiling his reputation , My mother hates me for spoiling a girl’s life and my love…….My love hates me for not supporting her.” Sanskar sat next to her as Swara raised her head.
“ I hate you Sanskar , I hate you the most………this wound (Pointing to her hand) , its because you can’t exist even on my hands , forget about my heart , I don’t love you anymore , I hate you now , I hate you alot………” Swara said as she was still crying.
“ Swara , I know I was wrong , I was the worst , I am sorry , I don’t know when , how , why I fell for you but I did……..I accept that I did,………… I don’t care you love me anymore or not but I just want one thing from you……just 1 thing……..please forgive me…….please………..” Sanskar looked towards Swara .
Swara raised her eyes and looked at his , she kept looking at his eyes , she couldn’t…….she couldn’t hate him , she couldn’t punish him , she couldn’t see him crying……she loved him a lot , a lot , she kept staring at his eyes , the truthfulness that she witnessed in those tears made her feel that he was saying the truth , she couldn’t ignore it.
“ I forgive you………I forgive you Sanskar but I just want 1 thing from you……..go away from my life……far away……..don’t ever return , don’t ever show me your face , never…….” Swara said as she tried hard to control her tears , wiping them off , she stood up and started walking away.
“ And Yes , I don’t love you anymore so don’t live in a pretext that I do…..” She left.
Sanskar looked at her going one last time , he realized what she must have felt….seeing your love go far away from you………That day he left her in a similar condition , wounding her heart full of love for him , today she left him in a similar condition wounding his heart full of love for her.
He tried to smile a bit , “ Thank you Swara , you don’t love me any more but I do , I know you had had this pain of being left for 5 years but now you won’t have that pain because now that pain is mine , its mine now……..I am left in my love and this pain won’t be for 5 years , it would be for lifetime……for lifetime……” He stood up and walked somewhere.
After 30 minutes:
Swara was sitting in her room thinking about Sanskar when the door opened with a bang , “ Swara , Sanskar is leaving….” Ragini said as she entered inside.
“ Its all because of me , I know you don’t like him still I did that….Swara , I am sorry , please forgive me……please tell him not to go……..please…..” Ragini said with tears.
“ Why are you behaving that way Ragini , I didn’t told him to leave , why should I stop him….” Swara said unaffected.
“ But Swara………”
“ Please Ragini , everyone has to leave , even I am living tomorrow after your wedding so why worry about him?” Swara said to Ragini as Ragini kept looking at her.
“ Swara , whats you problem?? I know something happened between you both…thats why he’s leaving……right? Tell me , I am right na….please Swara tell him not to leave…..”
“ I won’t…….” Swara said as Ragini kept looking at her , then she left the room.
As Swara heard the sound of door closing , she sat down on floor , Crying , “ Sanskar……..” She cried hard to herself , she looked towards the bedsheet and pulled it , she threw it on floor , she started breaking the vases of the room crying.
“ I love you………I still love………why I love you…….” She was crying badly.
I am leaving because you don’t want to see me , I won’t come in front of you ever again……ever Swara……Your happiness would be my only reason for survival from today…Only motive of my life…….
I went to my car with my stuff , “ Sanskar , today is wedding , please don’t go today…….you can go tomorrow na……” Laksh said as he looked towards me.
“ Sorry Yaar , its really important or else I wouldn’t have left……please….sorry…….” I replied as I entered my car , I started driving my car as I saw Ragini coming from her home running , she was looking at me and I smiled at her. Soon she disappeared from my site.
I heard a phone call 10 minutes later , I looked towards it and picked it up while driving , “ Dare you if you left me again……………..I’ll kill you this time…….I’ll kill you…….” I heard some angry screams from other side , I stopped my car.
“ Swara…….You only told me to leave……” I said confused.
“ As if you listen to everything I say , right Mr. I wanted to marry you……did you then why agreeing to this condition so soon , I realized how much you love me…….so much na……” She said angrily.
I smiled as I heard her.
“ What do you want now???” I asked smiling.
“ You left me on last vow……….If you really love me then complete that vow………….then I’ll leave you AFTER THE LAST VOW……” I laughed as tears too started forming in my eyes.
“ Ok , You are most permitted to leave me after the last vow…………what else……I’ll get another allegation……..that this time My wife left me that too in 2 minutes after wedding…….” I heard a small laugh from the other side.
“ I am coming………” I said smiling.
“ I am waiting…………..” Swara said smiling.
No matter what , Love triumphs always , No matter how much it has to face , it wins , hurting someone is bad but the sins done by mistake are forgotten by God too , we are still humans , Swara loved Sanskar and love can never be forgotten , Sanskar fell for her rudeness as well because it was destined , they were destined…They were each other’s forever , it was just the path that was long……Don’t hurt someone ever in your life because you never know when you fall for the same person.
SwaSan OS: The Left Vow