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NOISE OF THE PAST( THE CHOICE) CHAPTER 11

Hiiii everyone….!!! I know I am late..but my exams r on…so I didn’t post..sorry..!!
Thank you for bearing with me till now..i guess i will finish this story in 20 chps…more than that would be too much…!!!..So now we r left wid d last 10 chps…so plz plz read nd comment…!
Coming to this chp…I m requesting u..that if possible try to understand the ‘real meaning’…this one is really really imp in d story…so plz manage to read it..
P.S- sorry to whoever’s ff…i didnt comment…!! Okay now enough.. Here it comes..

CHAPTER-11

Getting bored?
Look, there are always two kinds of people- one, who find others’ stories interesting and then there are the second kind who don’t like listening to how it all began and how it went and blaa blaa. They just want to know the ending.
P.S- I am kinda both.

But you see, in my case I just couldn’t have told the ending, because I believe in reasoning. It was really necessary to know that what caused the ending. Ending? The word sounds not so suitable here right? But isn’t every ending a new beginning? At least that is what I believe.
See here lies the umm so called two lines description of my story- ‘ At times love is not enough. Even though you feel that everything is perfect, time and change always come forward to prove, ‘ Perfection doesn’t exist in relationships’.

We spent some beautiful moments together. Really beautiful. I have a box of sweet and bitter memories. Those flying kisses, those winks, those brown eyes, that smile, that time and that ‘ him’ are a part of me now. They can never be separated from me. Never.
No wonder those dreams and flashes right?

There are problems in every relationship. But what if you don’t know what relationship you are in?
Did I love him?
Yes, I did. I still do.
Here I should get the answer right?
But no. I didn’t love him as he expected me to. I loved him more than that. I didn’t say it but I don’t know why, I expected him to understand.
Expectations huh? They ruin everything.
So yeah, I love him but not the kinda he wanted from me. He didn’t want that deep sophisticated feeling and care. He wanted affection and he craved for the time when he could have me as he wanted.

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As I said, at times love is not enough because at times, it is love that complicates everything.
He was a lively, funny and a straightforward person. He let out emotions. I was not of that kind. I was a thinker. I stored everything inside me. I know you must be thinking that what kinda person I am, at first I said that I was confused about my feelings towards him and now I am saying something else. Yes, I was confused but as we moved towards the end, his value dawned upon me. Now that I look back, I know how much I feared losing him even though I didn’t accept the fact then.

Actually I couldn’t make out what love actually feels like. I had never fallen in love before. I didn’t know its value. Then he came, not to make me fall in love with him but to help me know what love feels like. He taught me a beautiful feeling even though he didn’t want that. You see, love is also of many kinds, mine was really different.
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Relationship, commitment and friendship.
………….……………………………………………………………….
We were sitting under the mango tree in our usual evening time. I had still not given the answer to him and he was annoyed because of that. Although I told him that he deserves a lot more than me, he was just not ready to let go.
” So, how’s life Shravan?” I asked him.
” Why don’t you give an answer?” He questioned back. Again. That same thing again.
” Where does this come from?” I looked away.

” It comes everywhere, every time. I am just tired of asking you to give a commitment. Just give it. What would happen!” He was just stuck on that.
” Look Shravan, even I am tired of making you understand that this relationship will destroy everything. Even our friendship. Please understand.” I try again. He looks thoughtful for a moment but then hunger takes over.
” Just a commitment. Please.” He says.
” Fine.” I say and I see his eyes light up.
” This is not a yes. This isn’t. From today, I commit myself to you. I can’t be of anyone else. Is that enough?” I sighed.
He nodded and I stared at the setting sun.
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It takes lot of courage to accept the fact that you are ready to let someone take a part of you. It is difficult to hold someone and try to keep the love alive.
But believe me as I say, it is even more difficult to let go of someone and still never let the love die.

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