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Chapter 4 : Thoughts of Sam
As I drove home, with Sam sitting there beside me, I began to think back to how it all started. How two completely different people would become friends? It was complete mystery. How would someone like Sam want to be friend with someone like me?
I never really had a best friend before her, she was just different. She wasn’t the typical girl you meet. When she first came into my life,I actually thought she was a regular girl, that would be like Lara and Sophie.but I know that they won’t make her part of their group as she don’t have money and status like them.
I looked over to her staring out the window. My mind travelled back a few minutes ago when I was waiting for her when she went upstairs to get her stuff, I stared at her pictures that covered the wall of Khanna household and it was then I realized that she was becoming an interesting person that I knew and her friendship with me was a true treasure. I must have been lucky to have her as my friend.
Honestly I didn’t do well in anything in college and I was in trouble more than I could even count, but Sam was always there for me to rub off on me over the time. Most people thought I’m clueless, but I’ m far from it..Just because I don’t like reading books, preparing for tests; it doesn’t mean I’m not intelligent. Sam knows that.
I pulled the brakes of my car as we reached to my house. Sam sighed. I know something was bothering her apart from what happened today.
The urge to comfort her was huge. The strange thing was that I felt strange around her lately. I don’t know why. Strange restlessness feeling my mind. May be our paths are close to branching out and will going in different direction soon.May be that was bugging me. I knew Sam was destined for greatness. She can do anything she wants to do. I believe on her.
We had our lives apart from each other..I partied a lot. Most of the weekends we didn’t see each other. She would spend time with Radhika and Nandini and on other hand I would be looking out for girls to screw and drink until I wasted.
As we moved towards garage, I saw her walking in. She is so at home there. Curling up on her couch she picked one of the books scattered over rack and I watched her drift into her imaginary world that she called safe place..Away from the things which hurts her.She had made a small library at my garage.
I pulled up some tools to redo her scooty I took it on that path which it couldn’t handle.I saw tears in her eyes seeing condition of her scooty that time. I felt bad at that time for hurting her.
For what I felt like forever, we said nothing. I turned on radio. At times I heard her singing the song which always brought smile on my face. She would stop if she notices me listening. She was still shy girl.
I put down my tools and walked towards her. I said nothing to her but just watched her. Her small frame curled up on one of the arms of the couch, few strands of her hair falling across her face as her eyes darted across the pages of book she was reading. She was absolutely beautiful.
Did I just think that? I looked at her again and I realized thought was correct. Sam always said she is ordinary and guys like Tony going on and on that how s*xy she was. And in that moment I realized something…that my best friend is stunning. Even with her jeans, t-shirt and glasses..she was the most beautiful ever.
However..what the hell I’m thinking..She was Sam..my best friend to with whom I could watch action movies and could laugh hard if there wasn’t much action in them.
I had been busy these years protecting her from others to see what in front of me. I looked at her lips for a moment, they were darkest shade of pink, natural pink…not having any tinge of cosmetic…. If it would have been any other girl,I would have walked and kissed her hard. I would let my lips melt into hers and eventually ended up having her in my bed. But this was Sam, I couldn’t do that to her. I ended up her hurting and that wasn’t actually I can do.. you can’t think about this kinda things with your best friend Neil.
I couldn’t understand from where these thought were coming. It was strange but thought stuck my mind that if it’s possible to date Sam. I stared her for a moment and then her eyes looked up to mine and I froze.I was unable to think, speak or do. Wow that pair of eyes are powerful. Magnificent.
I shook my head “ Nothing Sammy. I was wondering if you are ready to head up the house though “
As I watched her grab her stuff and start to leave I realized that it could never be that way. Sam was nothing more than friend to me.I would be there when someone lucky did realize that she was true beauty and treasure her for all his life. Then No one would hurt her,because I would always be there to protect her.
Sam and I entered through front door and heard my mom wondering in kitchen. She was cooking when we walked in.
“Neil, I don’t know Sam was here..”
“ Yeah mom. She came with me as Uncle and aunty are out of the town. She is going to stay with Radhika”
Technically she was going to stay with Radhika but I and she always ended up watching TV on the couch of our living room until we fall asleep. Her parents didn’t know and it doesn’t matter as there was nothing between us.
She was busy talking with my mother. Then I looked at my hands and realized how dirty I was.
“I’m going to go up and shower”
Bella looked up from the newspaper which found on table that she began reading. “I will be here”
I skipped stairs and went to my bedroom. I pulled off some cloths and slipped into the shower. As the water ran down my skin, I kept thinking about Sam. I couldn’t understand that after all these years, why did I have to start thinking about Sam being beautiful?
I guess on some level I knew she was beautiful, but may be today seeing Tony trying to man handle her that brought it in to light. Her eyes were full of terror.
Turning off the shower I reached for towel and wrapped it around. I knew I have to do something to deal this thoughts ASAP.one thing I was sure that I couldn’t get involved with Sam. She was too important to me. I know I’m not the man she deserves for herself.
In my mind, I started to formulate this list of qualities that Sam needed in guy. He would have to be supportive, loving, caring, gentle, strong and have a heart that can love her and protect her always. If I knew she would be happy and taken care of, I knew I could have a happy life as well.
I pulled my comfy pajama bottoms and t-shirt and went back downstairs. I could hear laughing of Sam and mom from kitchen. I couldn’t help but to smile. Sam’s laughter was similar to the melodies that I used to play on piano, so long ago. Sam told me that I shouldn’t have stopped the piano. She thought I very good at it apart from interest in cars.
I came down to see that everyone had finally made at table except my dad he was busy in his business trip. I wanted to capture this moment in my heart for always. I knew that, a year or two later Sid and Nandini would marry and after few more years Arjun and Radhika too will plan for their marriage.. I looked over to Sam, I knew that it was only matter of time that Sam would move on in her life without me.
She always pestered me to do something great in my life. She believes that I have those capabilities to make something good out of my life. She was really an amazing person who can see best in every one.
“Sam, are you coming with me and Nandu to Debolium on Saturday?”
Radhika’s sudden invitation to Sam makes me come out of my reverie. I pitied her immediately.
“You know Radz, I don’t like to shop and plus I have some stuff to get done around home”
“you are just avoiding shopping.how about we make a deal, you accompany us shopping for cloths and we will go bookstore with you?”
Radhika really wanted her to go. I knew that Nandini and my little sister hated to go to the bookstore with Sam. I knew Sam has that habit of losing herself in bookshelves once she entered in bookstore.but two people they hated books as much as they did, has something in their minds.
“ what are you two up to? I know you bath hates going to bookstore with Sam and here you are volunteering her to go with her…. Sam you need to be ready to do something you don’t want to…”
Radhika and Nandini looked at each other as they were completely innocent, Sam gave glare to them. She knows I was right about bookstore thing.
“ I can’t believe you would think that we have secret motives, big bro..” exclaimed Radhika “ we don’t mind going with her but she just have tendency of being in there forever and we get bored.”
Sam burst into laughter “ okay I will go with you guys and limit my time in bookstore…I don’t want you to get bore because of me..”
Shaking my head, I took my plate to the kitchen. I stood there and stared out of window.
My mother was such graceful women; she was the gentlest soul besides Sam.
“what’s on your mind”
“Nothing, mom” I shrugged. I don’t want her to know what I was thinking.
“You are thinking about Sam,aren’t you?” A smile formed on face as she spoke.
“How did you know?”
“Because I’m your mother and when you think about her your eyes spackles.”
I laughed and leaned up against the counter.
“Neil, don’t hurt her ever..” my mom’s eyes suddenly turned Sad.
“what do you mean mom?”
“Neil you might fool everyone, even youself, but Sam meant more than friend to you. I watched you to grow up together and played together. Be careful with her..”
“Mom, sam is my friend. I never look at her that way..”
She nodded and come over and hugged me “ Neil, I hope you won’t too late to realize the truth..”
She kissed gently on my forehead and went left me standing puzzled.
When I went back to dining room found Sam has gone for shower in my room. Besides me, I only let her enter in to my room. I know she do that to prevent from Radhika’s “ dress up sam” mission.
As I started to watch some action movie on TV in living room, leaning over sofa, I saw Sam come into the room and curl up on sofa.
“ feeling better, Sammy???”
“Yeah.. a little..sorry I was silent b***c all the time…”
I never thought she was b***c at any point “ Its okay Sam…”
Sighing, she leaned up against me. I continued watching TV and after a while I glanced down to see her fallen asleep already. Her hair was falling across her face, so I brushed them off. She was so peaceful when she slept. I had seen her sleeping before but it was different now.
I was internally kicking myself I knew that Sam was out of my league. It’s funny when people say she wasn’t my league but truth was that I was out of her league. I’m not the person Sam would wanted or needed. She likes guys like Ashish and Rohit,her previous crushes. But those nut cases never would understand her.
At last, I concluded why I was thinking like these things..Harmones.I never paid attention in biology, but I know this was happening because chemistry of hormones.
The fact that I was a man and she was a woman. I didn’t actually had feelings for her.I was just reacting like any typical red-blooded man would. She was beautiful women and I was a healthy man.Simple as that, questions answered.
Glancing down, I know I couldn’t move and would normally leave Sam on sofa but I didn’t want to wake her up as she was leaning on me..Sighing, I tuned off the TV and wrapped blanket around us. Then I did something I didn’t expect myself to do. I placed soft kiss on her forehead. I moved enough to get comfortable and within minutes I too joined Sam in deep slumber.
My powerful and most supportive gang Rosie, Satz, Gauri, Jess, Manha, Shree, Sree,Ritu di, Roma di, Gia, supri….Thank you for your high voltage support guys….Love you all….
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