Sanskar-I told Kavi about us once she & I went back to Kolkata.She forgave me–said that “she understood if I needed to get one last fling out of my system before we settled down”.
He laughed,an empty,hollow sound.A pained expression came over his face.
Sanskar-I wish things had been different.That u had been the one to forgive me & she’d been the one to walk away.
Swara-Don’t say that.
Sanskar-It’s true.I never stopped thinking about u.I tried to find u in Kolkata.I still thought about u,& I thought if I could get a chance to talk to u & explain,you’d understand.
She’d changed her number shortly after she left London bcoz her sister had decided to move to Mumbai with her husband & Swara had followed,seeking new opportunities.
Swara-Understand what?u made me the other woman.
Sanskar-That was never my intention.
Swara-What was ur intention,bcoz I don’t understand.Why approach me when u had a gf?
Sanskar-I honestly don’t know.I didn’t think far enough ahead.I regret the way I handled things,but I couldn’t let you walk away without meeting u.
The rawness in his voice reached out to her,made her insides quiver.
Sanskar-Afterwards,I decided to use whatever means necessary to hold onto u.
Swara-Even if it meant lying?
Swara-That doesn’t make u a very truthworthy person.
Sanskar-I’m telling u the truth now.
Swara looked away from the intensity of his gaze.Playing with a napkin on the tabletop,she berated herself for the bit joy that filled her with his words.
“I couldn’t let u walk away”.
Yet ge had.
Head held high,she’d walked away with as much dignity as she could.Once out of view,she’d taken off running down the sidewalk,uncaring of the stares of strangers & the tears streaming down her cheeks.She’d only know she had to get back to the hotel & the privacy of her room so she could manage the unbearable pain of seeing him with another woman & the realization that what they’d shared had been a lie.She’d never felt pain like befor or since.
Swara-U hurt me
Swara-Were u ever going to tell me?Or was what we did some dirty little secret?
Sanskar-It wasn’t dirty.I swear to u.I planned to tell u.When I saw u on Sunday,outside my brother’s appartment, I intended to tell to then,but I didn’t get the chance.
Swara-How do I know you’re telling me the truth now?
Sanskar-You don’t.But it is the truth.I’ll tell u the truth about anything.Just ask me.I know u have questions & I want to earn your trust.Ask me anything & I’ll answer truthfully.
Swara-R u sure you want to do this?
Swara’s fingers stilled on the napkin.
Swara-Did u love her?
Sanskar-The way I felt about her paled in comparision to the way I felt about u.
Swara-Answer the question.Were u in love with her when u slept with me?
Sanskar-It’s a terrible thing to say,but no,I din’t love her.I’d had my doubts before,but being with u made me realize that I didn’t love her.I’d gone to London to make a decision about my life & my relationship with Kavi,& u helped me make it.
He took a deep breath,as if bracing himself.
Swara-You said u broke up,but…did u ever sleep with her again?
How was the part??
What do u think will be Sanskar’s answer for Swara’s last question?
Plz do comment…
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