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I deserve This.. KB.. OS

And when she got a life full of happiness i destroyed it! I loved her more than myself then why did I do that? Was that my love for her? Or Insecurity for her? Or Hatred for her? Why my hatred overcame my love for her? I loved her more than myself then why the hell i destroyed everything? She was always there for me when i needed her and now when she needs me i m here, from where I can’t manage to go back! Thinking about the past makes me realise how much I tortured her and she bore that all with a simple smile at her face, and never complained for anything I did to her! Still after i destroyed her life she trusts me and what makes her to trust me again and again! I do not deserve her trust! She is lady of truthfulness , she is perfect in every aspect but not me! She knew how to sacrifice! Her each selflessness always turned into a point which i used selfishly! I always was so worst in my behavior but she never complained! Today my hatred for her losed and her love for me Won! Today When Her love for me won, she has stopped loving me! This was destiny! And now this is my fate! Fate! I ruined my fate with the turning twists i created in our life! Sometimes twists her necessary in our life and Sometimes the Turning twists turnly turns typical tired Life! I was always a problem creator in our family and yet she supported me, when her father was all set to punish me for my bad deeds, she stopped her father saying “I love this person papa, don’t do this” and i don’t know why she said that? May be because she had firm belief in me that i will change myself, her belief was right!

Today i have started changing myself but it’s too late! I still remember her day of marrige ,all family members asked me not to attend the wedding but she was the one who wanted me in her wedding , her father wasn’t able to say no as he loved her daughter much! But what I did? I… I just made her happy day the worst day, I manipulated groom’s family with the money ,i bribed them and they never came, pragya was so shocked ,she almost got broke down after listening to the truth that i was the one who never wanted her to get married to anyone! But still she hid her pain and supported me, everyone in the family started hating me but she, her love for me was never ending, she never hated me and always had a belief that yes today I will change myself, every next day she used to pray to God for me but I was always hating her, i was blaming her that because of her my near and dears are getting away from me but the truth is because of me everyone left me! I was always blaming her for no reason but she always used to smile, no matter how many times I slapped her, I screamed at her , she with a simple smile bore that all! May be it’s because of her smile that has changed me! Somewhere at sometime someone would somehow betray you, and that someone will be You, Yourself! Today I have betrayed myself so much that I m now even unable to cruse myself! She always saved me from all troubles of my life, she loved a person truly but because of me she never gave answer for the proposal. I was always a barrier between her and her happiness. I was always against each of her wish! I never wanted her to be a doctor but that was first time that she raised her voice against me, she said “to be doctor is my passion, i can’t get away from my passion” I wasn’t able to resist her decision as her father was always a supporting pillar for her! Today i have realised that i was a human with no humanity! Countlessly i have tortured her but she was always by my side! She lost her sister but always managed to hide her pain! I treated her like a slave! I used to beat her with rods…


Rods! I still do remember ,whenever i used to beat her with Rods, she used to continuously smile and whenever mistakenly my Rod used to fall down from my hands, she used to take the rod and give it back to me! I don’t know why she was so much sweet and calm natured? How she used to be that much calm? Her father used to work abroad and used to leave her with me, with the belief that I will take care of her but no, i never took care of her instead i did so bad with her that now I want to kill myself for all the sins i have commited till this day! Sitting at this place right now gives me a feeling of relief , this is my fate! If i would have been calm like her, we would have spent our whole life together! I still remember a scenario of hospital! A doctor was called into hospital to treat a little girl, The girl had been in a terrible accident and required emergency surgery. Time was running out. The doctor got scrubbed for surgery as quickly as possible , but before he could enter the operation theater , he was stopped by girl’s elder brother. The brother’s face was red with tears , What’s taking you so long? He shouted. “you came here late and now you’re taking time while my sister is dying” The Doctor remained Calm, “I apologize for not being here earlier” he explained ” I was elsewhere. Now please remain calm and let me get to work” The brother became even angrier. How can you expect me to remain calm.he yelled! Would you feel calm if that was your sister? The doctor smiled and said don’t worry your sister will be fine. As doctor walked away ,the doctor could hear, brother grumble to himself- “it’s esy to be calm when you don’t know how it feels. The operation took a few hours but was thankfully a success, after cleaning up, the doctor gave this good news to brother. Now if you will excuse me? The doctor said looking at her watch. I must go. If you have any questions the nurse will help you. The brother shook his head angrily and turned to nurse. “is she always so rude and arrogant”? He asked. The nurse frowned softly. “her sister died last night” she explained. She was at the funeral when we called her and now she went back to grieve with her family! The brother felt guilty and ran towards the doctor to apologize her, The doctor said Sir it doesn’t matters, well time is running out if fate wants i will meet you again!

The brother of girl smiled and doctor left! That was the day when she , the doctor , My pragya melted a little part of my heart! That was the first time i hugged her! she is a straightforward girl who knows how to manage all the situations in right order. The brother of the girl fell in love with her, i don’t know why but i wasn’t able to tolerate that thing! hence i did something which runied everything ,which ruined pragya and my relation! which ruined the love pragya had for me or i can say which changed the love pragya for me to hatred! today being here in jail makes me realied that yes this place is right for me! even hell wouldn’t allow women like me to enter into it! today i have runied a dadi and her grand daughter’s relation! Now pragya hates calling me as her dadi afterall i murdered abhi’s sister, oh yes abhi is the boy whom pragya loved! abhi is the same boy whose sister met with accident and pragya saved her! today being a murderer of innocent girl, i curse myself! i m murderer of the happiness and all joyfull events! Today I m being Hanged! The cops will be coming at anytime and after an hour i will be no more! today i have been sentenced to death and I Deserve This! I Deserve more than this! Thanks life for making me able to learn all my mistakes before death! Today all grandmothers will feel ashamed of me but i don’t feel bad because I deserve this! Today my son will be ashamed of me and I deserve This! today my Pragya,My grand daughter will be ashamed of me and I deserve this! Today i will be hanged and I deserve this! Today I m sentenced to death and I deserve this! Yes I do Deserve this! I…… Deserve……This!


Guys actually i am not able to update my ff and I m really sorry for that, i don’t kno if I can continue “Thoughts within life” or not! I m sorry for that and that is why i uploaded this OS! I hope you guys liked it!and yes Don’t credit me for that doctor and Brother part, it was an excerption from a video ? Stay Blessed

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